Playing Board Games: Do I enforce rules or let my kid have fun?
“We are playing Snakes & Ladders. My kid rolls a 4. Oops! She has to go down-down to spot 3 from 24. But she slides her counter past the snake to 25. Not so cute, now that she’s almost 9!”
“We are playing Ludo! My seven year old throws a tantrum when his counter is about to be swallowed! He is super happy when he can eat my counters! Should I allow that?”
These are everyday experiences in many homes. Every time the child throws a tantrum or breaks the rule we oscillate, between the RULE DEVIL and the KIND ANGEL. We are strict and feel terrible for making the kid cry. We allow the child to break rules and feel terrible wondering if we are creating a monster! For our own sanity, let us look at the rule-scenario dispassionately.
WHY are you playing the board game?
Like in anything else, if the WHY is clear, making and breaking rules become less confusing and painful.
Which of these hold true for you. Remember, your WHY will change with every passing day. You may have a different WHY every time you play with the kids.
It’s fun. I want us to be laughing and making memories. (simplify rules)
It’s for me. I love playing this game. (be more gentle)
She watches too much TV. Helps reduce screen time. (choose a game she likes)
He must learn to focus, play by rules. (make rules clear)
I’ve got to keep this kid from jumping on the sofa. (some fun chatter, snacks)
The rules of the game define the purpose of the game.
We use strategies to win the game. That is the fun of the process. And a learning too.
HOW to bend the rules and not feel guilty?
Some games require you roll a 6 or 1 to begin. Do away with this rule! Or add another number like 3 to the START number so that beginning the game is not stressful!
Play by the rules of the game, but gently! Allow the child to win by ‘forgetting to kill, or forgetting to bring it home etc!’
When we play battleships I place the last ship AFTER she has called her first guess! She begins with a strike!! Giggles galore. The rest of the game proceeds fair and square.
You could modify the rules before you begin the game, and that new rule holds the game together.
WHAT are the benefits of board games?
Easy connection with family and friends: It could ensure safe family time. It’s an easy socializing tool when friends gather.
Great memories: Childhood games leave a warm feeling in the heart.
Learn soft skills: In any game, you need to be focused, wait your turn, follow rules, be a good loser or winner, be kind to a younger sibling, and play even when this is not your best day!
Reduce stress: Adults feel relaxed. It may not be so for the child. Children are super focused on winning the game and situations may make the game stressful! So be aware of the stress reactions of your child.
Reduces screen time: There are a zillion video games and screen entertainments to choose from, but the shop shelves are overflowing with board game options. This only shows that the charm of the quintessential board games are here to last forever.
Increase cognitive function: Mental processes such as perception, attention, memory, decision making, and language comprehension are cognitive functions. These skills are an essential part of a competent adult life.
Children who have played games with their caregivers, parents, grandparents are confident and manage their social interactions in a better way.
Board games teach you how to disagree without being disagreeable.
HISTORY of board games
Board games have been played for centuries. They feature in myths and mythologies across the world. But what might surprise you is that board games were initially designed for adults. The more energetic games like hopscotch and seven stones were for the kids. Board games of the past have evolved into modern games that we are familiar with.
SENET: Perhaps the oldest board game known to us with evidence is this game from Ancient Egypt. — modern versions are available now.
MEHEN: An Arab game; close to this is HYENA. Played with 6 marbles (hyenas) and 1 lion figure, this game is similar to pac-man.
ROYAL GAME OF UR: This game from Mesopotamia has evolved into the familiar game of backgammon.
SNAKES AND LADDERS: This game is also called chutes and ladders and has almost remained unchanged over centuries. This game from Ancient India was meant to teach about good and evil and teach life lessons.
TAFL: This was a strategic game of Ancient Germanic and Celtic origin. It is believed that this evolved into chess.
CHATURANGA: An ancient strategy game of the GUPTA empire in India, travelled around the world and was modified and renamed by the Europeans as chess.
ALQUERQUE: This game from Ancient Egypt is believed to have evolved into checkers.
PACHISI: This game is a crucial part of Mahabharata, an epic from Ancient India. The game has many names across the subcontinent — Parcheesi. Pagade are other names. The game is played in its original form in parts of India even today. One can say that it resembles a version of Ludo.
MAHJONG: This is a game of tiles that has almost remained unchanged.
Source: Board Games Land
There are also various forms of dice used across the centuries. Cowries, slats with dots as numbers, the 6 sided cube, pair of 4 sided slats, are used as dice in various games. The six sided dice have been in Roman Times and were made of ivory, marble and glass.
Board games must occupy a shelf in your toy cupboard. But there are occasions when you need just ten minutes of simple family games.
Be good to yourself. Spend focused family time.
Ratna Rao has authored 5 books of which 3 are Amazon bestsellers. She believes in the comfort and benefits of Play Therapy. Her series of Little Games are books that help you spend fun family time. The books have attractive black&white doodles that excite the imagination of the child.
Open to any page, assemble, play the ten-minute game. Click to read more
